Saving Alec: Redemption
by AdventKisa-x
Summary: Saving Alec: Redemption is the sequel to Saving Alec. Saving Alec was about Alec battling depression and Magnus saving him. Once again, Alec is battling his depression in new ways. Can Magnus save him again? Please read the original story to understand this one.
1. Chapter 1

**AN: Hey guys! The polls are in and the majority of you guys wanted a new Saving Alec story. So here we go! I'll be completing all of my other stories within the next couple weeks so I'll be spending a lot of time on this one. If you have not read Saving Alec, you really need to or you might not understand everything that is going on in this one. So please read, review, and enjoy! And of course, Merry Christmas everyone. **

I've been spending the last eight months  
>Thinking all love ever does is break and burn and end<p>

Taylor Swift – Begin Again

**Prologue **

**Alec POV:**

There are moments in your life where you are really down, and I think I hit rock bottom. It all ended with me in my parent's bathroom, in their bathtub. I had just downed a bottle of pills. They say there's a light at the end of a dark tunnel when you die. That is either a lie, or I didn't deserve it, so I didn't get it.

What I saw instead was beautiful amber eyes, and black spikey hair. And let's not forget the glitter that was raining down all over me from that spikey hair.

They say that when you're down, and you want to hurt yourself, imagine doing it. If you can think of just one person who you love that would want to save you, then don't hurt yourself. In that moment I couldn't imagine anyone thinking I was worth saving, but one person came. Magnus saved me.

In the months since we've had our ups and downs. We've had fights, we've cried. We've screamed. We've suffered. But we've lived.

I fell in love with Magnus Bane the day he looked me in the eyes when I was dying. And I thought that that was enough, but it's never enough. I haven't been able to get over the undying love he has given me. I can't get over the fact that all great loves end. Ours hasn't, but it will.

All loves must end.

Pessimistic of me, I know. But I can't lie to you and say I'm an optimistic. I speak the truth, even if it hurts. I'm not sure how long Magnus and I can last, but I want it to last. I know I'm not perfect and I don't deserve Magnus, I wish sometimes I could let him go. He could meet some other boy or a beautiful girl that could make him happy, would make him happier than I ever could.

But I'm selfish.

The truth is, the darkness is reaching to me again. It's been one year since Allie died. Well, eleven months, twenty four days, four hours, and twelve minutes, seventeen seconds. Eighteen. Nineteen. You catch my drift.

Her death is what caused me to finally take the leap. Magnus saved me once, but can he do it again? Do I want him to risk his sanity again for me? Or can I let him go free?

The bad piece of me says, "Keep him. Hold on, never let go, and bring him down with you." But I can't do that to him. I can't hurt him.

So do I let him go?

Or do I let him suffer with me?

Do I live again?

Do I die for real this time?

Those are the horrible questions I must keep asking myself. And most importantly, am I worth saving twice?

No, I'm not.


	2. Chapter 2

**AN: Hey guys! Here is the second chapter for the new Saving Alec story. I changed the title a little bit, and I hope you enjoy this chapter. This story will have issues with self-harm, drugs, alcohol, rape, strong language, and character death so if any of these are triggers for you please be warned that this story is rated M and there will be graphic issues like there were occasionally in Saving Alec. If you're confused during some parts you should read the first story though it is not required to completely understand this one. Nothing in this story is mine, all these characters belong to Cassie, and these are just my thoughts. Enjoy!**

Is it my turn to die?  
>My heart is pounding as I say goodbye<br>So now I dance in the flames  
>I love you crying and screaming my name<p>

You said that we'd be forever  
>How could you kill me and lie to my face?<br>Now that we can't be together  
>There's just no hope for our final embrace<br>So here we are, I'm in your head  
>I'm in your heart!<p>

You were told to run away  
>Soak the place, and light the flame<br>Pay the price for your betrayal  
>Your betrayal, your betrayal!<p>

Your Betrayal – Bullet for my valentine

**Alec POV:**

I can't believe I'm here right now, I need to be at school and I know I'll miss it, but this is important. Last year started my junior year of high school and now I've started my senior year. You would think I'd be happy about getting closer to my last days in school, but I'm really not.

For one thing, Magnus isn't in my school anymore, as he graduated at the end of last year. For another, I'll have to finish this year without my best friend Allie.

Just thinking about Allie brings tears to my eyes and a deep pounding behind my eyes. I don't know how I've made it this long without her. When we met we were going to have it all. She was going to convince her parents to let her come to my school. We were going to go to college together. If she ever got married I was going to be there, if I ever got married she'd be at mine. She was going to have kids and I was going to adopt kids. We were going to share everything.

Until God took her away. Well, her God.

I'm not so sure I believe in God, I was raised to believe in the Angel Raziel, but an actual God who would give teenage girls cancer and not even give her a real chance in this world? What kind of just God would do that?

Magnus believes, I know he does. But he doesn't really talk about it with me anymore. Whenever religion comes up in our conversations I get snarky. I really shouldn't do that, it isn't fair to him. I know he believes his mom is floating on clouds and playing harps but I don't. I think when we're gone, we're gone. We cease to be, we are black.

That would have been me, I would have been black. I would have been gone. And sometimes, I wish I had been able to been taken away.

I know that's not fair, I know I should just be thankful for what I have.

I have my brothers and my sister. My parents. And I have Magnus and his lovable but sometimes annoying cat. But what don't I have? My best friend.

Her death ways on me so much even though it's been month's since she died. It's been almost a year. I can't believe it's been almost a year.

It's also hard to believe I've been on this journey with Magnus for a year, we had met of course before but we never connected until November last year.

I'll never forget that party. Our school always has Homecoming the last week of October, and some students thought it would be fun to have a party the week after. It was really only a seniors and juniors thing. Sophomores would only be allowed at the party if they were invited, and of course someone invited Isabelle and Jace. I was the designated driver because well, mom and dad didn't trust them enough not to drink.

I didn't plan on going back home though. I hate placed all of my school books into my bag and planned on walking into the lake. Drowning is supposed to be peaceful, and I needed the bag to hold me down so I couldn't fight the water coming into my lungs.

Magnus of course, being the person he is, saw me getting beat up by his friends and he had to do something about it. Then it was immediate, we formed this connection of mass proportion and now here we are. I love him, and he loves me.

But I don't love me.

How could he love me if I can't even love me?

My eyes drift up to the light blue walls of the house I'm in. Allie's. Allie forced her parents to paint all the walls and the outer walls blue because she thought it looked like my eyes. Even though her parents grumbled, they still loved doing anything that made her happy. They haven't gotten around to changing it, I don't think they ever will.

Allie's mom comes into the room holding a cup of tea, her hands shake as she hands it off to me. My heart stutters. She looks bad, her eyes are bloodshot, and her body is so skinny. And she and Allie's dad are in the middle of a really horrible divorce. I guess Allie's hope that they have another child has pretty much been dashed. They won't say it to me, they never said it to Allie of course, but her cancer was pretty much the end of their marriage. It was a financial strain, and all they could think about in those month's was her coming death. How do you deal with that, I don't think I ever could.

Allie's mom sits next to me and I can barely understand her as she whispers, "How are you doing Alexander?"

She, my parents, and Magnus were the only people who I let call me Alexander. It made me feel more adult, even though right now I don't want to be the adult.

I shake my head, "I've been okay. Why'd you call me here today?"

Maybe I'm being rude, maybe just plain hateful. But I'm angry they're getting a divorce. I'm angry that they dashed out everything that Allie wanted!

Her breath comes out even more shaky, "It's been almost a year, I would like it if you'd come to her grave with me on the day of the… anniversary of her death. Since she loved you so much. And her father and I, we love you too. I want us all to do something for her on that day."

I nod absently, "Okay."

I figured this was it.

I know she wants me to take care of her, but how can I take care of her when I can't even take care of myself?


End file.
